7. Once Upon A Time on North Street
Once upon a time there were three external examiners: the Examiner for Ancient Classics, the Examiner for Forensic Medicine, and the Examiner for Russian and Comparative Literature. Their paths had never crossed before that morning when they all came down for breakfast in the small B&B on North Street. They were all very smartly dressed, as befits the solemn role of the external examiner, and all three sat silently, memorising the University’s Policies, Procedures and Guidance document (Guidelines for Assessment, Examination and Award), all the better to stun the members of their respective exam boards into a respectful silence when the time was right. Then the haggis and baked beans arrived, and they fell into conversation. The Examiner for Ancient Classics said that she was anticipating trouble with the Plutarch paper, and that she had really wanted to be a scientist all along; the Examiner for Forensic Medicine said that she would be dissecting three heads that morning in front of a hundred students, and that she wanted nothing more than to be a golfer; and the Examiner for Russian and Comparative Literature said that this would be her last exam board, and that she was leaving to be an artist. It was only when the clock on the mantelpiece struck ten that the spell was broken. The three women stopped talking, and then they ran, late for their respective exam boards, scattering to the North, East, and West winds, and beyond.
